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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:29 pm 
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Location: Amidst the hills and mist of KZN
Whilst touring the Park in Sept 2006 with friends (PaulE and family), we decided to have lunch at Olifants. As we are avid campers, we wanted to pop in and have a look at Balule on our way up. When we got to the gate, not a living soul was in sight so I jumped out and opened and closed the gate to let our 2 vehicles through. We had a good look at the facilities and after a walk around the camp, we headed towards the gate.... PaulE's SO and I have a habit of pulling each other's leg (with 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons, we need a sense of humour!!) PaulE's SO got out to open the gate and he drove ahead.... my SO pulled in line with the gate and I rummaged in my purse for a coin... as I held my hand out to put the coin in PaulE's SO's hand as payment ...(new job - Kruger gate guard), a movement caught my eye to the left of the gate. We were both laughing so hard at the situation that I was trying to point out the "movement" and tell her to close the gate and run. She said later that she was so used to us poking fun at each other that she had been expecting someone to shout snake or lion or something similar...!! I have included the pic of the very sleepy inhabitant under the tree at the entrance to Balule..... So folks, if you go down to the woods today.....you're in for a big surprise..!


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 12:42 pm 
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On my last trip to Kruger - overall, my worst ever - I was heading slowly down the H7 in order to exit the Orpen Gate at gate close. Very close to the intersection with the S36-S39 crossroads, I saw three cars stopped in higgledy-piggledy fashion on the left-hand side. Sensing a top sighting, I drove abreast of the last car and, edging forward, sought to scan the high grasslands.

After three or four minutes of careful peering through my binoculars, I could not find anything. I did see a darkish shape about a 100m in that could possibly be a head, but I soon dismissed it as the "upright head" did not move a nanometre in all that time.

I sidled alongside the 4x4 I had stopped near to and, gesticulating to the lady driver to open her window, I asked her politely what they were looking at. Her answer was, "I don't know. We're also trying to figure that out!" I looked again with my binocs, but still nothing.

I then reversed to the middle car and asked its couple what everyone was staring at. "I think there is a cheetah in the grass over there," said the gentleman driver. "Oh, where?" was the standard reply. "Well, I'm not sure - those two over there (he pointed at the first car) say there's a cheetah here, but we can't see it."

The obvious thing was to thank him and reverse in line with the first car. A broad English accent greeted me and, after the cursory hellos, I asked the question again for the third time: "What are you looking at?" Excitedly they pointed in the direction of the dark head-like shape I had identified earlier. I did not attempt to be arrogant, but assumed that I was maybe looking in the wrong direction. After some repeated clock-like directions - accompanied by the often used slight colour-difference in greens, as well as a small bush versus a medium sized bush versus a tree - I indeed confirmed with them that the dark shape was the cheetah.

Rekindling some hope and excitement at this "positive" ID, I waited around and focussed those binocs exactly where the head was and waited, breathing gently and deliberately to keep my arm muscles well-oxygenated for the wait ahead. However, no matter how much I stared, I could not see any movement of the animal - not a flick of the ear, not a slight turn of the head, not a change of position: zippo, zero, zut! However, I suddenly realised that, using Einstein's Law of Relativity, the waving yellow grass seemed to make the dark shape move! Soooo, it was the waving grass that was fooling these visitors!

Armed with this knowledge, I moved back to the front vehicle again, who seemed to confirm my suspicions that there was no animal to be seen. Disappointed, they drove off.

Now there were two vehicles: I sat and waited a little longer - just in case. Then, along came a private small-seater safari vehicle (not from SANParks); the guide was particularly interested in my assertion that "there may be a cheetah there, but I've yet to see it!" I explained as best as I could where to look, and the whole vehicle rocked with the oscillating passengers straining their heads to see the "cheetah". After a couple of minutes of this - which resulted in increasing despair painted on their faces - the guide did something I will not easily forget: he pointed in a brand new direction and confidently noted that there was a leopard in the tall grass! He ignored my bewildered frown as the noise level of the tourists raised to fever pitch. I stared at this new "sighting", but soon was convinced there was definitely nothing there. "Are you sure?" I asked the guide; "I can't see a thing!" "Yes," he said, "I saw it move!"

I was convinced that Einstein was up to his relative tricks again, but, before I could say another word, the guide - now sporting some consternation at the guests' insistences that he show them where this leopard was - suddenly put down his binocs and gunned the vehicle's engine. As the tourist protests rose to an extra-high C-sharp, three of them chided him together, wondering why they couldn't stay longer to see it. His embarrassed reply was that they didn't have much time to get to the gate (although it was almost two hours to go, and the distance to the gate was only 33km)! Whereupon, with a smile and a short phrase telling me to enjoy the leopard, the private safari vehicle roared off.

I was nonplussed at his insistence that he had seen something that nobody else had. I was bewildered that my eyesight had deteriorated to a point that I couldn't find a leopard and a cheetah lying stockstill in the grass, not 50m from each other! I stayed another 15 minutes, again just in case, but I was 99% convinced that nothing of a feline nature was about to leap out of the grass at this point. I drove back to the first couple to ask them if they had seen the "cheetah" move, and they told me that it had indeed swivelled its head a full 180 degrees. I whipped up my binocs and stared at the dark shape, but the yellow grass smiled broadly and waved goodbye as I drove off. The English couple said they would wait for the cheetah to get up and walk, having been there already over three hours.

To this day, I cannot be a thousand-percent sure that there wasn't a cheetah or a leopard in that central grassland, but at the same time, I didn't lose any sleep over the "missed" sighting. I am still convinced that we had all been entertained by the beautiful grass of Kruger. Then again ...

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:09 pm 
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I once drove past a foam nest frogs nest in a beechwood overhaning water, as is normal, and my guest adked me wheather that is an ostrich's nest!

Also got told by very convincing SA guests that when they visited the reserve 2 years ago, they saw a Rhino under a specific tree, so where is it now??!!

The worst I saw, was a guide and his guests wathching some ellies, when the bull approached their vehicle, he realized it would not start, and instead of being reassuring to his guest, he jumped out and ran for is, followed by 10 very scared guests!!!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:27 pm 
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Picture the scene.

Tshkowane at breakfast time.

We arrive with guests from UK, who were not used to "the bush" .

I am of course a seasoned visitor to the park!!!! and as my SO brings us all a toastie and cuppa, I say to our friends.............
"Now watch out because these monkeys have been known to steal.......... before I'd finished speaking, a little devil had stolen my chicken mayo sani, leaving me very
Just like when you tell someone to "Mind the step" and then trip up it yourself!!

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:41 am 
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This story an interesting take on how some people can act, and one I still cannot get my mind around:
Several years ago, I had stopped to observe three termite mounds that had started up overnight on a dirt road (Confluence Loop) near Shingwedzi. The developing mounds were neatly positioned near the edge of the road, and I could therefore park adjacent to them and lean over to see the fascinating way the construction was taking place. A tunnel had already been excavated, and the cone-shaped walls were forming in a spiralling fashion.

As I marvelled and gasped at this little seen phenomenon (for me, at any rate), a vehicle filled with noisy, probably German, teenagers arrived in a cloud of dust and, wondering what on earth I was staring at so intently, began to look around in all directions. I was about to tell them, but they neither heard me or took the time to ask me (I later realised their English was probably almost non-existent), and so ignored my attempts at enlightening them. (Today I wonder how I would explain a newly-forming termite hill in German when the only expressions I know in that language are "Guten Morgen" and "Achtung"!)

These raucous boys were both giggling and frowning (I'm not sure how the two are congruent!), until, unable to see anything there, they gawked questioningly at me. I saw my chance to convert them to connoisseurs of the small and fascinating, so, I pointed to the baby termite mounds with a smile. However, their absent expressions told me they didn't have a clue what I was conveying to them.

Then these teenagers did the strangest thing: after looking around the bush, up in the trees, and even under my car, for maybe a minute, the driver pulled out an instamatic camera (remember those?) and aimed it at a dark green bush in the veld near my car. A flash went off as the bush became the subject of his photograph! Then he frowned at me and spun the wheels as they drove off in a cloud of dust!

I giggled myself when I wondered how they would explain the significance of that unadorned green bush to family and friends back home! Big 5 of the Kruger green bushes, maybe?

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 1:34 pm 
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Location: South Africa, Mpumalanga, Middelburg....289km from KNP!!!
I have a story thats more embarrassing then anything else!

In June last year when we were travelling from Tshokwane, i had this sudden, desperate urge to go the little boys room! It was seriously touch and go!

So the only other place nearest to Tshokwane, at that dreadful moment, was to go at Orpen Dam! Luckily i was the one driving so i kinda had to speed it up a bit! Desperate times calls for desperate measures! I eventually got there and luckily for me there were no cars parked off at the Dam!

I stopped the car, with a cloud of dust and dashed off like a fleeting Impala! ........But

The Mens toilet was locked!!!

So then i had to run to the Ladies! Luckily for me it was opened! I did what i had to do and felt like a newborn man! But just then, another car pulled up! Two ladies were walking towards the toilet! (the toilets are made of wood, so you can see through the gaps).

They knocked on the door, and i yelled out in a female voice saying..."sorry im busy" So they said their "oh sorries" and just waited outside the toilet, for what felt like ages! I decided, screw this, im going out!

When i came out that toilet, both those ladies had a shock of their lives! They thought a little girl was inside!

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do..


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 4:01 pm 
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There is a similar thread, but I cannot find it. My funny experience or rather embarrassing experience was when I tied my tent to my vehicle during a heavy thunderstorm one night at BergenDal, to prevent it from being blown away. The next morning I completely forgot to untie the rope and duly proceeded to the gate with my tent in tow. Camping chairs and sleeping gear was flying through the air.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:53 pm 
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Hello everyone. My experience happened many years ago when I was about 8-10yrs.old. We always camped in KNP. The night in question was at Skukuza. My parents ,aunt and uncle were sleeping in the tent. My brother was lying on the front seat of the car and I was sleeping on the back seat. There were no bucket seats in those big cars at the time. My brother and I locked the doors and went to sleep, not realising that the car keys were in the car! Later that night I was woken up by my parents, who were desparately trying to wake my brother. The problem was that he had turned over during the night and his knee was resting on the hooter! All the people in the camping area were awake and the gate guard had come running to see what was wrong! My brother felt very foolish the next day and from then on I slept on the front seat of the car!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:46 pm 
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When I was little my family and I (fam of 4) used to go to KNP with my aunt and her family (fam of 4), we were therefore a total of 4 children, all very close in age - great for us kids!! Anyway, we were staying in Lower Sabie and it was a very hot october day so we were back in camp between 12:00 and 15:00 for some lunch and an afternoon nap. The two younger siblings (I think they were about 4 or 5 years old) decided to take their bino's and walk along the fence in the shade of the trees and investigate any potential animal activity (we used to have prize money for sightings so it was highly competitive and high stakes, especially at the age of 4...). After walking around for about half an hour they eventually decided that the few rands for potential sighting were definately not worth the intense heat (if I remember correctly it was 46 degrees). At that stage there was no pool at LS so they went back to the chalet, and in their swimming gear, had a cold shower and then ran around the room under the fan and aircon to cool off! They then found some treats next to the bed (jellytots, chocolate and jellybabies) which they assumed their loving moms had left for them! Having burnt off some of their energy they figured it was about time for a recharge, so they scoffed down all the sweets and then dashed outside to see if anything had changed along the Sabie River. Whilst walking along they noticed the rest of us emerging from our chalets for the afternoon drive, highly confused they came to us and asked who we were visiting in these chalets. Having no idea what on earth they were talking about, we eventually convinced them that these were in fact our chalets.... And so emerged two very guilty looking expressions... Turns out that the two of them had pranced into the wrong chalet, messed water everywhere, eaten all the treats and left the beds messed up from running around under the fan. It turns out that it was the chalet of an elderly couple who were very understanding when the two kids arrived with a big apology and a new stock of treats (which they had to buy with their sightings prize money, much to their disgust!)

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:16 am 
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In the middle of the night at Satara one decade a while back, I went outside with a torch, having heard something strange. We were on the perimeter huts - which meant it should have been easy to retrace steps to as the fence runs nearby. However, I took a fair walk through several of the bungalow rings, until I convinced myself that there was nothing exciting to be seen.

Then it was time to go back to the bungalow, but the neuron that stored the number of the bungalow must have committed suicide on my walk, for suddenly I couldn't remember which bungalow I was in! "No problem," I thought; "follow the fence."

So I followed the fence, but couldn't recognise any landmark. Eventually, after 15 minutes of wandering around - enjoying the beautiful night sounds, I might add - I taut I taw a puddy tat! My young sister had had a fluffy toy in the shape of some hybrid feline from who-knows-where, and there it was, on the verandah! Without hesitation, I opened the front door and marched in, heading straight for my bed.

Then I was jolted by the realisation that, just like Goldilocks, someone had invaded my sleeping place! Immediately I stopped dead as my eyes dark-adjusted and I saw bodies strewn across the floor as well. Suddenly it smacked me on the forehead: I had entered the wrong bungalow! There were seven people in there (four on the floor) and, as I heard one stirring and stretching, I immediately sought to make haste before they realised I was in there.

I turned hurriedly, but unfortunately also clumsily, and struck one of the sleeping adults full in the head with my trailing foot! He mumbled an expletive that did nothing to encourage me to stay and meet any of them and, with heart racing, I ran out of that bungalow, catching my right baby-toe on the door frame in the process. If anyone has ever mutilated their baby toe on something unyielding, they will know that, initially, there is only numbness for about five seconds, and then tremendous pain sets in. As a result, as I cleared their verandah, I groaned as softly as I could (which was a skill of sound suppression I am yet to emulate) and limped like a three-legged dog as fast as I could.

Then I saw our car parked there and realised that I had entered the neighbours' bungalow. I slept restlessly and, the next morning, greeted those same neighbours as we were both heading out for a morning drive. I never had the guts to tell them it was me that entered their bungalow that night and unfortunately introduced my foot to one of their heads.

As it later turned out, some animal had moved my sister's fluffy feline to the neighbouring verandah during the night, which set up the confusion that had me ducking and diving for survival.

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 Post subject: Funniest Kruger Moments
Unread postPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 10:02 pm 
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During my last visit to Kruger I had taken someone with me. During the long flight over to SA from the USA I had reviewed the many rules of the bush, if you will, with him. One of the rules was to make sure you shake your shoes out before putting your feet into them.

It was around day seven and we were in a Lataba permiter hut. My SO and I were sitting on the edge of the bed putting on our shoes. He, as advised to do, shook his and to both of our surprise out came something quite big.

We both jumped onto the bed. I screamed. After we regained out wits and crept back over to the edge of the bed to see what it was we discovered it was a dead bat. I felt horrible for the bat but to this day we do not know if the bat fell from the roof and fell into his shoe; the fall killing him. Or if he crawed into his shoe and the smell killed the poor fella......

I felt bad for the bat but we did get a few laughs.... and if I could ever figure out how to post images I would post some really good close up images of this bat. Not sure the species....



What are your funniest moments in the park?


Last edited by Travelstory on Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:57 pm 
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I hope the tour guide is not on this forum. Last weekend I was in the Lower Sabie swimming pool where a tourguide and SO, pitched up with his guests. after telling everyone of his great sightings , he told us that he had seen a Tierboskat A.K.A Serval, earlier that morning.
He told his wife to bring us the camera to show us . I looked at the photo politely, but then had to break the news, it was an African Wildcat !! Poor tourguide

Great sighting but not great if you are an Afrikaans tourguide and do not know the right name for your animals.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:54 am 
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Can't believe it but I'm about to put my foot into this thread again!

Well see, the story goes like this.....
We grabbed a quick weekend to Kruger last week to celebrate SO's birthday. On the much awaited birthday drive we came across a large pack of wild dogs. Seeing that it was the first dogs for us in ....... well, just call it a very long time.... we pulled over and decided to enjoy the sighting. Next thing a yellow ribbon approached from the front. After a few minutes a sizable traffic jam started building up. I was the luckiest one of the lot because the full complement of the pack was right next to my door!

Next moment a very fast and irrate BZZZZZZZZ...... came through SO's open window and headed straight for me! The content of this tread raced through my mind. Yes, I'm pretty sure it was the very same wasp! With my hand on the door handle I weighed up the available options, wasp (circling my face at that stage), dogs, lots of clicking cameras, forum member?? ..... choices, choices, choices. Someone told me just to stay still! Stay still?? Are you out of your mind?? I slid down under the flying thing and halfway down to the floor and started yelling (involuntarily! ) for SO to GET IT OUT NOW!

Fortunately the thing decided that the heat was too much for him and kindly departed (alive! ) and I could breath again. The dogs were still there, all lined up and giving me a very funny look!

My.... my....

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Experiences
Unread postPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:29 am 
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I remember a story from several years back, when I was still at varsity. There was this girl in our class that approximated behaviour of a spoilt diva: always, and continuously, fastidious over every bit of make-up, every strand of hair, and the lie of her garments; mostly self-absorbed and boasting about everything she felt was her special achievement in life (like how much she paid for the latest fashion pieces or the latest trip overseas, and which famous stars she met there); and so on and so on. As it turned out, she got engaged to a similar type of man, and, for the first time that we could recall, they decided on a local summer holiday - to a very upmarket lodge in the Eastern Transvaal (now Mpumalanga).

When she got back, she was in her usual mood, boasting wildly about this and that; however, she was quite a good storyteller, and so she had a fair audience absorbing all the skinder and juicy tales. It turned out that they had spent a good few days enjoying every amenity available at the lodge; whereupon they decided to visit the world-famous Kruger Park, where no doubt they felt they would see every single important sighting in one day. They could see no reason to go longer than a day, so they had entered at gate open at Crocodile Bridge, and made their way right through the Park, exiting at gate close at Punda Maria! :shock: :shock: :shock: That is a distance of about 400km. :big_eyes: :big_eyes:

As it turned out - and why was I not surprised! - she was disappointed about that drive. Yes, the luxury car drove like a dream; and the air conditioning was perfect, so that they didn't feel the 40+ heat outside, and her make-up didn't melt. But Kruger, she felt, had to stop making exorbitant promises and misleading the public. Where were the famous lions, the huge herds of buffalo, and the mighty elephants and rhinos? After all, they had driven more than 400 km, and all they had seen the entire day was a few lousy SPRINGBOK!!!

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TR: NECTAREAN NICETIES OF THE NORTH
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