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Hilarious, Spotted Cat.

I have warned against stopping close to snakes a few times on the forum. They often climb up into the undercarriage of vehicles that get too close, terrifying the occupants. A number of the stories don't end as happily as yours.

This one will not take the cake but picture this...
You busy focusing with your camera on this amazing ,huge buff bull about 5 metres away and when you just peek out behind the camera this biggish cricket hits you at full speed right between the eyes That was me & my vrou finished, got a pic of the bull & every time I look at it I have a good laugh.

De Hoop, Richtersveld NP, long weekend April/May 2006.

BB, Mrs BB, Bullet, Mrs Bullet & 2 pellets.

The Orange river is warm enough to swim in, so I decide to get in first. It is murky and I decide against diving into what looks like shin high water. I put my foot in and it just keeps on going. I have lost my balance and plummet head first into the drink just over half a metre deep. The rest of the party and all the campers crack up laughing and I cannot see what is funny.

The Bullet junior reminds me every time he sees me. "Uncle BB, do you remb" "Yes I do, now where's your Dad".

2 or so years ago, I took my folks to Lower Sabie. The ablutions were in pear-shaped condition due to renovations and what the heck else they were trying with it. Temp ablutions were set up for visitors in the camp.

Like my dad had put it, you had to drive with the car to the shower, so far it was away. Anyhoo... On one of my dad's visits to the shower, he left his fresh set of clothes outside the shower cubicle while having a refreshing shower. Little did he know that the water escaped everywhere else from the cubicle but the drainage hole.

So afterwards he got out and with the greatest of surpirses he discovered that his clothes were rapidly being swept away down a juvenile river outside and off to the nearest bungalow parking area.

Boy was that a lag of note later that evening in the bungalow.

@ RP:
@ Spotted Cat: We asked him if he had forgot to take his clothes off when he had the shower after he returned: What a lag the old man is!

The next trip the other funny man joined. My Oom. Yes this Oom has an Oom of his own.
Stepmom and I walked down to the river @ Skukuza just before shop closing time. The two brothers drove to the shop to get some stuff for the evening's braai.

Needless to say, they got horrendously lost on their way back. As the one asked the other which bungalow was ours, the other one replied that he had left the light on so that they could easily find their way back.

About 150 huts' lights were on.

No... but I did meet his brother once.

My naam is Mike
tingelieng tingelieng
Ek ry my bike
tingelieng tingelieng...

The stories I can tell you bout my dad and oom together is quite hillarious. I am busy putting a video with some of their adventures together as a bday present for the two of them. Oom turns 70 on the 6th of april and my dad 63 on the 8th.

Im sure Janneman can't wait to tell it. So lemme jump the gun before he adds in more detail then neccessary.

I was asked to do the beer auction at the Cricket function. William "Willy" Mabasa introduced me to the whole crowd as "Dick".

Whist the guests were trying to get their breath back from all the laughter, Jannie loudmouth, continued onwards with his name calling there in the back from the peanut gallery. "Diiiiiiiiiiiccccccckkkkkk!!"

The whole evening I had to hear the same jokes over and over again. By this time everybody else had jumped onto the numbnut bandwagon. At the bar, at the food queue, in the men's, outside by the 9th green...

"Look at the bright side W™. Luckily your surname is not Head."
"Hey Dick! Come have a drink with us."
"So your name is Dick, hey?."
"How many balls did you face again, Dick?"

Even the next day some unknown dude in green golf drove by me on the H1-1 screaming: "Lekka aaaaaaaa Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk....", giving me the thumbs up.

Like I've said earlier... not all that funny actually.

Frikkin eggwhites.
i'm smilin

We were sitting looking at the Western trough of Hillside Windmill north of Lower Sabie around 2000.

(By the way, where have those troughs gone?)

Game was pumping, but a resident lioness was chasing all comers away, a tactic they sometimes use to frustrate the zebra and antelope into making a mistake such as slipping as they run away.

This had been going on for about a hectic hour, with much dust and noise.

During a lull, as the zebra were regrouping for another attempt at drinking and the scene was tranquil and idyllic, a lone male baboon appeared from the stream's direction.

The lioness was hidden under a nearby bush, so "kees" had no idea why the busy waterhole was deserted, but kept making his way slowly toward the water.

At this point it must be said that it was a Sunday morning and the baboon looked incredibly similar to someone who had had too much of a party the night before and had just awoken and was staggering desperately towards the nearest tap to slake his searing thirst!

He slowly and groggily approached the trough, obviously almost but not quite being able to work out why there was nobody there. (A bit like someone with a hangover driving into Menlyn while it's closed for renovations.) (Menlyn is our biggest Mall in SA)

After drinking a long, long drink of water, he sat there, dreamily playing with his fingers in the water.

Meantime, the zebra were approaching again, and Mr Baboon, glanced at them, as if to say: "So where have you been! The water's lovely!"

At that moment the lioness charged again from point-blank range, actually leaping OVER the trough and Mr Baboon, who promptly fell on his back!

The zebra scattered once more, and the lioness returned to its spot.

Ironically, Mr Baboon leaped into the nearby fever tree (After leaving copious amounts of evidence of his fright next to the trough), and THEN started screaming warnings for the next hour!

It's a bit of a "you had to be there" story, but the human similarity was amazing. We laughed non-stop for a long time!

On our latest trip to Kruger we came across too many french tourists.

So after impersonating them continiuosly for three days straight, the accent kinda got stuck onto old V6.

As it was bound to happen at some or other part of the trip, two out of the three of us got hold of cigars and Jack Daniels and the godfather impersonation session started.

I really hope you forumites will one day get to experience a bucky with a nifty sidestep doing the godfather in a french accent. ROTF!

Camping at Malelane camp about 4 years ago.

A mate of mine and I were the only campers, a bit like the "Balule" story.

Two elephant bulls strolled past the fence at dusk, about 5 metres from our tent. A nice "sundowner" sighting.

Unfortunately, they decided to return in the early hours of the morning, and started to wreak havoc on the trees next to the fence.

We woke up, obviously, as it is quite difficult to sleep with an elephant doing excavation work what sounds like right next to your head!

I relapsed back to dreamland quite quickly, for some reason, but awoke the next morning to find my pal sleeping in the car!

The devastation was quite remarkable, in the bright light of morning. (Eish, my kop was seer!)

Moral of the story: sometimes having a nightcap can ensure a good night's rest!

My mother and i stayed at Orpen Camp during our trip to KNP in June. After our 'braai' i took a stroll to the fence to take a look at the cam waterhole. Returning to our bungalow i came accross a puff ader on it's way along our veranda. I let out some words, that can't be mentioning here! Hearing the comotion going on, our next door neighbours came out to look what was going on. After been informed that it was i puff ader they left.

Some time later while i was sitting under the veranda to relax and recope after initial shock i saw my neigbour walking out to the braai. I could just made out what he was telling his wife about that he's not taking any chances with snakes, so, he lifted up the braai, took it under the veranda and lit the fire!

I was quite a bit concerned that he would set the place alight, but i also couldn't help laughing about this sight!

Yip BGS I agree - we love all the animals but there are some we prefer not to spend our personal space with.

After getting this house ready for the tenants - this was a hum dinger of a job - we are all dog tired (SC and myself). I phoned LL to come and have a look at our hany work. Golly me SC decides to check the garage once again and lo and behold there in the doorway is a scorpion spider.

Now big mouth over here has a certain quizz where a pic of this creature would be very handy so out comes the camera, but before my flash goes of there is a little light that comes on.
Now LL and SC is already creeped out and big mouth over here is cam ready. As soon as that spider senced the light he/she ran towards me and I did a pretty magnificent raindance right there and then. I screamed, SC screamed and LL screamed . We had the full attention of 3 children and the photo ..... well that was a magnificent action shot of something that resembles the floor,wall and roof in one....

After gathering all my courage I did manage to get a pic but we moved away from that door ....

CC they are not dangerous - but icky it think you should see for yourelf - it has these long things at the side that keep moving in your direction ......eeeeekkk


I think that's why they are harmless - just their looks will make you run on the spot - thinking of which maybe that's where I got my injury doing that raindance

Went to Pafuri picnic spot in September. (There is a trip report out there somewhere.)

Around lunchtime we were sitting preparing "brunch". (Always seems to happen there.) The atmosphere was blissfully serene and quiet.

Suddenly the peace was shattered by a loud and imperious British lady's voice, ringing around the spot.

"MABEL, WHEAR ARE MY BYENOCULARRS!!"

The pandemonium was something to behold, Boere choking on there beers (Wat soek daai vrou!?), Frank the attendant jumping up and scanning around in a panic, and everyone generally checking the positions of any binocs in sight!

(Funny how, I think, that accent and tone of voice still has every local jumping, 100 years after "independence"! )

I cast my eyes around and spotted two old bats, about BB's age, dressed like Sophia Loren, one at either end of the huge site. Both were a little the worse for wear...

(Once you walk with your glass held in front of you, slightly above shoulder height, you know the battle is lost!)

Unfortunately Mabel had slipped into the "Ladies'", and Hilda received no reply, and continued alternately muttering and exclaiming about the "peaceful setting"!

Everyone was still nervous and polite, except for an "unnamed forumite", (not me!), who was raucously egging Hilda on!

The two ladies' companion/driver/butler/partner, a distinguished gentleman, blissfully surveyed the scene, obviously well into the "spirit of things", but mute. I think it was relatively peaceful for him just being out of the confines of the car!

Eventually Mabel emerged, much to everyone's relief!

"OH THERE YOU ARE, MABEL! MY BINOCULAHS, DARLING?"

As the audience waited with bated breath, Mabel simply lifted up the article in question, which had mercifully been around her neck!

"THANK GOD, DEAR, I THOUGHT I'D LEFT THEM IN CAMP!!"

They left after their pitstop, and peace descended once more!

(Except for some wisecracks shouting to their spouses to find their binoculars!)

Needless to say, it was a memorable experience and we had a lot of fun speaking "high British" for the rest of the trip!

Maybe you had to be there, but if you go to Pafuri, ask Frank about the "lost binocs". I'm sure he'll remember!

BTW, real names have been altered!

Last Dec. at Babalala , a little boy and girl stood next to the ablution blocks. It was stinking hot. Said the little boy, to presumably his younger sister. When we get back to camp I'm definitely going for a swim. The little girl about five, put her hand on her hips and said " Hou jou self in, ek gaan eers shop "
Keep your self in, I'm going shopping first. They learn at a very young age, don't they.

I just wonder where she has heard this.