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Well I'd have to agree with earlier comments about GP numberplates...I did love growing up in Joburg but I'm glad to say that it's no longer home and the folks have migrated east to Nelspruit...the next task is getting their numberplates changed so I can ride without shame.

My favourite story is set in 2002, on the main road linking Skukuza & Lower Sabie. There were huge fires in the area at the time south of the road, west of Crocodile bridge.
We were watching kudu (beautiful) right by the road when a cig butt (stompie) comes flying out the window of a Toyota Venture in front. the car pulls away down the road and we pull forward & I pick up the microscopic death-trap..much to the obvious delight & applaud of a car full of big local boys, all with beer & cigarette in-hand themselves (but obviously more respect & infinite more common sense).
My girlfriend was driving which left me free to teach these idiots a lesson. We pulled up next to them in a river look-out spot and I motioned to the lady driving to put her window down..."the park's not a rubbish bin" I said as I handed over the butt. I swear I could smell burning and I'm sure it was the lady's brain, trying desperately to figure out what was going on. As she motioned towards me to take the butt I said "you dropped it back there, I saw you". Stuck between nervous laughter and idiocy she remained silent and didn't take the butt from me.
At this point, her husband in the back exploded with rage, but he couldn't get past his child who was sat in the seat in front. We drove off shortly after this, hoping but doubting that I'd managed to teach them something.
The manic swearing in front of the kids summed it all up i must say...dropping a cig butt mid-August in the park....well you'd may aswell throw a petrol-bomb at an elephant! The alcohol they were consuming must have blurred their vision of the black plumes of smoke billowing into the skies ahead...I wonder what caused that fire?

Well I had a funny experience with myself, which could have been told with great humour by forumite Bostokkelos aka BT had he decided to post more on the forums.

We camped at Satara in early 2000's. I, as always were in command of the braai and fire. Stacked wood so high that it looked like the Trojon Horse. Lit it and sat back with a cold lager in the hand looking at the hyaenas patrolling and lone ele bull feeding on the other side of the fence.

What a lovely fire it was. Rooibos wood. The best! Even BT couldn't help to let out a very seldom heard praise on my firemaking abilities.

For those who know the braais there, will know that the grill can be swung around 180deg. Well it was like that so that all the wood could fit into the braai.

As the wood started burning out and forming coals, I swung the grill back to burn all sorts of germs to the next millenium.

Then I did the unthinkable, forgetting that the grill handle was in the fire, a fire so hot that it melt gold 2 meters away. Yip BT's gold front teeth went missing.

I touched the handle with my hand. It burnt me to a crescendo! BT LHAO!! Fell of his camping chair and crawled on the Satara dust floor. I sung like a blackbreasted canary on a hot afternoon.

The grill was open. 25mins later, after treating my hand with ice and "bottle ropes" the descending wood weight equalled out the grill weight and it topped over with the grill being top heavy. I jumped up and did what? Grabbed the gril again with the same hand...

By this time BT wet his pants! He was lying next to the fence laughing like a hyaena with a zebra TBone all for himself. People ran from far to check out the hyaena kill after they heard him LHAO and me screaming like a warthog piglet with a leopard around his throat.

It burned me numb, but later that evening whilst trying to sleep in felt like 6 Gestapo men were amputating my hand with a dull block hammer.

Very funny for him. not so much for me. Aaww BT, what great times we had in Kruger. You better get back here quickly buddy. We need to go again...

What is it about us humans that cause such mirth when some one else hurts themselves, don't get me wrong, I do as well, so what is it about us?
Maybe we are glad that it was'nt us

We once saw a oldish guy at the LS day visitors restaurant walk up to the fence and grab hold of the wire, well, don't let anybody tell you that its not "live wire stuff", he managed to let go but sank to his knees and then staggered up and when he saw that we were watching, he stuffed his hand in his pockets and tried to walk as nonchalantly, as his legs would allow, I suspect away.
Anytime one of us thought of it we would start giggling and set the others off again!!

Another incident was when we took friends for the first time to Kruger. SO told his mate you can touch the wire high up and will not get a shock, SO proceeded to show it does not shock and touched the wire. He did not get a shock so friend touch the wire after SO did. Well he got a shock I have never seen a man do a high jump and sprint in such a record time When he recovered he was silent for a few seconds then ROFL He then told SO that he is going to get him back sometime. A couple of month's after the incident
the two of them went to go and play there weekly squash. Well when SO came home after the match I ROFL, because his friend got him back on the squash court He was full of red "ball" marks on his back legs and arms

OK, I assume there's a serious note to the following story as well, but we still found it very amusing.

On our recent arrival at B&D rest camp, one of our neighbours immediately informed us about a leopard on the other side of the fence just a few bungalows from the one where we were staying. After four previous “leopardless outings"

Obelix's story about underwhelmed neighbours reminds me of our encounter with a rhino. After 4 days in KNP with only one fleeting glance of a rhino we got back to our B-a-D bungalow. In one of his cigarette trips in the evening SO heard something by the fence. On further investigation in turns out to be a rhino, right by the fence, munching away. Our neighbours had just started their braai and we went to tell them. Out of a family of 5 only one went down to the fence to look and he only stayed for a couple of minutes. I was there about 1/2 hour just watching him, amazed to be so close to him without him seeming stressed about it at all. Having said that I was very pleased that there was an electric fence between him and me.

So Saffies given a choice between a close up of a rhino or a braai - what's your choice?

Was also asked once at Orpen Dam what was lying in the mud, without thinking I said it was a "hippocrockaduck" The poor man looked very stunned (I think he thought it was a new species of crocodile ) and after a while I told him it was a joke and it is a crocodile Well he just burst out laughing and told his friend (in German) that it is a croc. Since then our name for a croc is "hippocrockaduck"
The next day my niece (3years old) was with us at the same dam when she spotted a Giraffe. She pointed it out to us and said it was a "Tworaff" She still gets teased (now 22years old) and it is officially known in our family as a "tworaff"

Our family has another standing joke, a bit off colour granted, but elephant droppings are known as "tortoises" after having been mistaken as such!!
Doubt if anyone can match that.

I watched a guy pitch a tent in Satara next to the fence and can you believe he tried to fasten his tent rope to the fence. Well the fence just clapped him back a foot or two, gave him the fright of his life, silly fool.

I've heard of a guy "relieving" himself early morning, forgetting that the fence was electrified.....

About 12 years ago we took two friends of ours on their first visit. We stayed in ajoining chalets at Lower Sabie, river frontage. About 0430 in the morning we were wakened by roaring outside. We looked out and a pair of courting lions were walking along the fence. Later when we were all together we asked Rose if she had heard the lions. She replied, 'I heard something , but I thought it was just Greg snoring'.

On the Metzi Metzi trail in December, we were snaking our way through the bush on our morning walk when one of the Australian guests on the trail signalled for us all to stop and advised us that he had seen a "giant rabbit" hopping through the bush. Rudi, the guide, asked him to describe the "rabbit" and he said it was a reddish colour and described a size definitely larger than a scrub hare. Rudi was struggling to compose himself as he explained that a rabbit of that size did not exist in the KNP but the Australian (hi Richie, if you're reading) described the hopping action and asserted that it was a rabbit. We continued on the trail for an hour or so and Richie again signalled that he had seen something. "Look, it's that rabbit again!" We could see something, which - indeed - appeared to be hopping, but as soon as it stopped, it became quite clear that it was a female steenbok hopping over the tufts of bush. Richie was a bit quiet for the rest of the morning!

We were driving on the H1-5 between Letaba and Olifants when something draw my attention on the road. A long line of Ants were crossing the road. We stopped ant waiting till they had past. Then a car was coming and passed me. I gave a klaxcon to warn them. The car stopped and drove back to us. Yes?the man said, He didn't understand because there were no lions, leopards, ellie's or name it. I said, you nearly killed a lot of lives, sir. The man was looking at me like if he saw the biggest Idiot there is. Than I pointed with my finger to the ground and than he saw what I had tryed to say. The last group Ants were just leaving the road when the man said, Oh that you mean and drove away. I had a good feeling that we had save some lives.

In the wetter seasons I have trouble missing Shongololos and Dung Beatles.

I have no idea what that is. Can you enlighten me ?