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I am going to the Kruger National Park in less than two weeks and I have decided that I wanted to write a Travel Report of my trip. That is when I started to realize that I have no idea on how to write a trip report. Now for an Afrikaans speaking man from Pretoria, speaking English is a bigger challenge than for the Lions to win a Super 15 rugby match. So writing a trip report, well, I have my work cut out for me.

For some people, writing a story or trip report is as natural as painting the Mona Lisa of Leonardo da Vinci. The only way I survived the art class was when we did Paint-By-Numbers, and even then I got my numbers crossed. But like the Paint-By –Numbers, there must be a way to paint a pretty Trip Report of my trip to the Kruger. I know that it will not be the masterpiece that the Mona Lisa is, but at least the memories and love for the place will be captured in little stick figures that we see so often in art on parent’s fridges.

I thought about the idea of a trip report in the Kruger must be similar to a Travel Blog, and decided to “google” for tips and ideas. I have found the following tips on the Internet and hope that everybody on the forum can assist in what makes a good Travel Report…

1. Write Short – According to sources on the internet you should keep the writing in your report short. “Personal Note: Like manna from Heaven… I don’t have to do a dissertation or thesis on the trip”

2. Know you Audience and write for them – This took me a while to understand, but seems that the audience of my trip report will be people on the Forum, and all people on the Forum have one thing in common: “a love for nature”.

3. Snappy Title – I have seen some snappy titles on the Trip Reports, but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

4. Control Your Readers Emotions - "... building anticipation and using rhythm in your writing you can control what your readers feel about your post." Personal Note: I think I will skip this tip…

5. Introduction is everything – you have to catch the readers in the first line…

6. Be descriptive – My English teacher always said words like beautiful and stunning is not descriptive. She said when writing, you should close your eyes, and then feel, smell, taste and listen to the sounds… Personal Note: Buy Oxford Dictionary and call English Teacher…

7. Use Pictures – A good picture is more than a 1000 words worth ... in this case 250…

These are some of the tips I have seen on the internet, but as the Trip Reports we write are for our fellow forum members, I do hope that you will give me some more tips and ideas. The Mona Lisa was not painted in 7 colours and I need a lot more help in painting a picture of the Kruger that will stand the test of time…

So this coming Friday, Patatjie (my lovely wife), Don Tour Guide (more on him later ...) and I will be going to the Kruger National Park. To make sure we beat the traffic out of Pretoria, we decided to leave before 05:00 as that will give us a good start to the day. There is something that all road-trips in South Africa have in common. This is not love we all share for the great outdoors, or the sound of the tires on the gravel road, but something we call in Afrikaans ... Pad Kos. (Travel Food)

Whenever I make "Pad Kos", I think back when I was a kid and we went down to Cape Town to visit my grandparents every year in December. Now these were the days before all the Ultra Cities and One-Stops were all along the N1. I remember when we were told by my father to start looking for a nice big shaded tree with a concrete table and seats. That is when my dad will pull-over and my mother will bring out the "Pad Kos".

The "Pad Kos" my mother used to make us was always a surprise. The reason for this was that all kids had to go to bed at 20:00 the previous night and we were only woken up to jump in the car the next morning at some obscure hour. Somewhere between 20:00 and 03:00 the "Pad Kos" would be prepared.

We had chicken drumsticks that were baked in the oven till the skin was golden-brown with salt and spices. There was boerewors chopped into smaller pieces and also meatballs. There were cheese sandwiches with a tomato on the side, freshly chopped. If all the kids behaved through the months leading up to the holiday, there might also be a little biltong as part of the "Pad Kos". Now to have a truly afrikaans "Pad Kos", you need one last item only known as the "Traveling Egg".

Now for those that does not know a "Traveling Egg", this is a boiled egg with a small difference. A Traveling Egg is usually made the previous day, or early the morning of your travel. Now the problem is the longer you travel with this egg, the more it changes in colour. The yellow of the egg start to change into a light blue. (not the pink / light blue of the Bulls though ...)

There were certain rules enforced on all kids and husbands when it came to consuming the traveling eggs. No more than two per person, and no-one are allowed to eat the last Traveling Egg after 15:00 in the afternoon. The reason for this is that as the colour starts to change in the traveling egg, the chemical structure is also changing which leads to enhanced compression... This has led to threats of kids being dropped off at the next town and many an inquisition to find the culprit. Hence certain rules were adopted.

So after years of traveling through South Africa to holiday destinations far and wide, I always make the "Pad Kos" which includes biltong, sandwiches, boerewors, coffee and last but not least ... the Traveling Egg.

Let me know what you usually pack for "Pad Kos" on your way to the Kruger...

PS. Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that he once saw a Serval across the Timbavati river from his chair at Tamboti Tented Camp ... all Patatjie and myself know is, he's called “Don Tour Guide”.